Lies at the Altar by Dr. Robin L. Smith

Author:Dr. Robin L. Smith
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781401384487
Publisher: Hachette Books

I will not bring up an old conflict without warning.

I will stick to the point of our discussion and not bolster my argument by recalling old hurts.

I will not expect you to read my mind.

I will not attack you when I really want a hug.

I will avoid using words like “never” and “always.”

I will not discuss important issues at the beginning or end of the day, unless we have made a plan or appointment to do so.

When there is something important to talk about, I will make myself available to have the discussion.

I will talk directly and in short sentences so that neither of us gets overwhelmed.

If we need to stop the conversation because we are at an impasse, I will use wisdom and self-control to be protective of our relationship.

I will speak the truth respectfully, with the desire to maintain your dignity and my own.

I will not use derogatory or dismissive labels.

I will do the mirroring/validation/empathy exercise with you in a quiet setting, at a time when we both can listen and participate. When you regress, I will do my best to stay in my adult self, and I will make the same request of you.

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